Acceptance and Anguish
by Aki Angel
Summary: After waking from repetitive nightmares, Jaina goes for a walk to clear her head. Just when she thinks she's found the perfect spot, she has an unexpected encounter with the very same man from her dreams. Jaina/Arthas. T for suggested adult themes.


Disclaimer: I do not own Warcraft, nor do I own any of the characters in this story. The first scene I wrote was taken directly from a scene in Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos, I just filled in the blanks. The rest I wrote on my own.

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"_This entire city must be purged." Prince Arthas commanded to his army. _

"_How can you even consider that?" Lord Uther cried. "There's got to be some other way." _

"_Damn it, Uther!" Prince Arthas roared. "As your future King, I order your to purge this city." Uther frowned and looked at his 'future King' with disgust. "You are _not _my king yet, boy!" Hate dripped off every word. "Nor would I obey the command even if you were." _

_Prince Arthas' eyes narrowed, glaring at his former mentor and friend. "Then, I must consider this an act of treason."_

"_Treason!?" Uther replied, stunned at the Princes' decision. 'Have you lost your _mind _Arthas?"_

"_Have I? Lord Uther, by the right of my succession and the sovereignty of my crown, I hereby relieve you of your command and suspend your paladins from service." Arthas commanded, not a hint of regret could be found in voice._

_A woman interfered, panicking at this change in the man she once knew. "Arthas! You can't just -" _

"_It's done!" He shouted, not letting her finish her sentence. "Those of you who have the will to save this land, follow me. The rest of you… get out of my sight!" Arthas' goal now was one thing: to protect his land, and his people from the Scourge - even if that meant killing his own people who would disrupt his plan._

_The woman watched Lord Uther and his men, or whom were once his men, run back east into the forest abiding Prince Arthas' command. She sighed, knowing this would be the end to the way things were, and the start of something very terrible. After a moment's hesitation, she turned to follow Lord Uther._

"_Jaina?" Prince Arthas said softly. Jaina Proudmoore winced as she could hear the hurt in his voice to the idea that she would turn away from him like that._

_She turned to him, not willing to look him in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Arthas. I can't watch you do this." _

Jaina awoke suddenly, sweat dripping from her forehead. This dream, _again_. It was the third week in a row where she was awaken by the same horrible nightmare. But if only it was just a nightmare, unfortunately this was her reality; events that had happened not that long ago.

She turned restlessly in her bed, constantly trying to re-adjust her comforter hoping it would make it easier to fall asleep. However, no matter how many times she shifted from side to side, nor rearranged her bed arrangements, she could not seem to make her self comfortable. Groaning angrily, Jaina sat up abruptly brushing a hand through her long blonde locks. Her blue eyes tiredly glanced around the room, while trying to adjust to the dark, to search for the nearest clock. Her eyes landed on the alarm clock resting on her dresser, just the left of her bed.

"Damn," Jaina muttered to herself. "It's only one in the bloody morning." Tossing off her comforter, she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She approached her dresser pulling out her silver armour chest piece that revealed her stomach. The chest piece had long white sleeves that were trimmed with gold lace as was everything she wore. She placed two purple armour pieces onto her shoulders and a grabbed long white skirt that flowed to her ankles. Feeling nostalgic, Jaina grabbed the purple cloak from her younger years that covered her left side, exposing her right side making it easier for her, as a mage, to move. She quickly got dressed and opened her bedroom door, grabbing her staff along the way, trying to make as little noise as possible.

The halls were dark and quiet, the only source of light was the few lit lanterns that hung from the old stone walls. To her dismay, her foot steps echoed off the cold walls despite her attempts to be as quiet as possible. Jaina continued to wander through the halls, moving stealthily past guards who had, luckily, fallen asleep at their posts.

"Mi-miss. Proudmoore? Shouldn't you be in bed?" Jaina froze, slowly turning towards the sound of the voice beside her. Standing before her was a short burly man, who oddly resembled a dwarf, with cropped brown hair, a bushy moustache and was covered head to toe in armour that appeared to be too big for his physique. The man looked at her with big, curious brown eyes.

"Oh. Good morning, Vorn." Jaina replied, smiling innocently. "I just couldn't sleep so I decided I would try to wear myself out by walking around the castle. I hope I didn't disturb you."

"No, not at all Miss. Proudmoore." Vorn grinned sheepishly. "Just worried about you is all, lass. 'Tis dangerous to roam 'round here at these times. Maybe 't would be better if I 'scort you 'til yer ready to go back to yer chambers…."

"No! N-no, thank you, Vorn." Jaina stammered. "It's fine, really. I won't be long, and I know how to take care of myself." Jaina pulled the hood of her cloak over her head, flashing a smile at Vorn. She held up her staff, never thinking she would have to do this at this time of night, and chanted a few words before, literally, disappearing into the halls. Vorn shook his head, "that lass" he muttered before turning around and heading back into his own room.

Within minutes Jaina had approached the large draw bridge that connected Theramore to the outside lands of Dustwallow Marsh. She stepped out into the night, feeling the cold, brisk air with every breath she took. Jaina took quick, swift steps along stone path until the eventually the grey, broken stone turned into brown, uneven dirt and the buildings of her town turned her dark, lifeless trees. She took a look around at the wilderness in front of her, debating whether this was a good idea or if she should turn back and give sleep another chance.

"_Jaina?" _Arthas' voice surfaced in her head. Jaina closed her eyes tightly to hold back the tears that threatened to form. Arthas, the proud Paladin who was next in line for the throne. Arthas, her, once upon a time, best friend; her lover. The sound of his voice that night as he called her name was like a dagger piercing her heart. It killed her to know that she turned her back on him, but she just couldn't follow him and watch him slaughter his own people.

Jaina knew that sleep was no longer an option at this point. Not unless she was ready to face those dreams again; which she wasn't. Jaina wrapped herself tightly in her cloak, keeping her staff close to herself for safety and secretly praying that anything she could encounter, anything that would think she'd make a delightful snack, would be sleeping soundly in the depths of the woods.

After traveling along the path for half an hour Jaina froze as she came across a bridge. She lowered her eyebrows sinking herself into thought. Having knowledge of this land, Jaina was quite aware of the guard towers ahead of the bridge; _her_ guard towers. She was also aware that there were mages among the patrol men at each location that were more than qualified to acknowledge the use of magic so invisibility was not an option. Which left plan B; traveling off the roads through the forest. Jaina sighed, turning her head towards the forest before turning right and making her way into the woods. "Let's just hope that raptors are not light sleepers."

It was an hour before Jaina reached a little pond free of monsters. She knelt down beside the water swirling her hand in the crystal blue pool. Her eyes wandered across the fresh patches of green grass, and tall, healthy trees that seemed to be untouched of the colourless, barren feel the rest of the marsh had. A smile crossed her lips as she moved towards a rock that sat obscurely to the side of the water, she was unfamiliar with this part of the land. Jaina lifted herself up to the rock and hung her legs over the side so her feet hovered centimetres above the water, laying her staff beside her. She stretched her arms and laid on her back, staring at the dark, starry night sky. This was exactly what she needed to clear her head. No battles to fight, nobody to rule over and nobody trying to protect her; it was nothing familiar at all - or so she thought. Jaina laid there with her eyes closed, and her fingers gently played with a pebble that laid beside her until more memories started to flashback to her.

_Jaina sat upright against the white pillows, pulling the covers up close to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. She shivered as the wind hit her naked flesh and glanced at the window across the room that was ajar. Jaina mumbled as she stared at her clothes that had be thrown into a pile among the pile of her lover's clothes. She was beyond tired to make the effort to get dressed and make her way to the window to close it._

_Jaina stared at the white sheets before turning her gaze to the man that slept soundly beside her, her hand gently stroked his golden tresses. She smiled at how peaceful he looked while he slept. Jaina's hand turned and the back of her finger slowly traced along the side of the man's face from his brow bone and along his cheek. Her finger gingerly brushed over his lips and a smile crossed her own._

_Her lover's eyes shot open and he grinned, grabbing her hand as she pulled away in surprise. The man pulled Jaina down towards him and gently nuzzled his head in to the crook of her neck. "Good morning." He murmured, his lips brushing against her skin. _

_Jaina smiled warmly and kissed the top of his head. "Good morning, Arthas. You look like you slept well."_

_Arthas' lips trailed across Jaina's neck to her face where he met hers lips with his own. "I always get a good night sleep when I'm lying next to you." Jaina giggled at this and leaned forward into the kiss. Arthas roughly rolled her over onto her back while he pulled himself on top of her and the thin sheets that covered them slipped down his muscular back. Jaina wrapped her arms around his neck and arched her back, trying to press herself closer against him. Arthas' grin widened at her encouraging reply. _

_For the next hour the room was filled with the moans of pleasure and each other's names. Jaina smiled as Arthas collapsed next to her. She snuggled up close to his body wrapping her arms around his waist while he draped an arm around her. Arthas rested his head on top of hers and buried his face into her hair. As they laid there, Jaina could feel her eyes growing heavy and she could hear Arthas whisper her name into her hair as sleep over came her._

"_Jaina." _Her hand clenched the pebble in her hands and she gritted her teeth. "Stop it." She said into the night, knowing if anybody saw her they would think she was ridiculous. "Please just stop it."

"Jaina."

Jaina shot up, throwing the pebble in her hand into the shallow depths of the pond angrily. "I said I've had _enough_!" She yelled. "I'm sick of these nightmares; sick of reliving those stupid events!" She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her legs and laid her head in her hands. Her fingers gripped into her hair, refusing to let herself cry. "I can't take it anymore. I get it, I turned my back on you Arthas." She breathed raggedly, her voice cracking as she tried to speak. "I let you down when you needed me there. But couldn't you see that I couldn't watch you slaughter your own people?"

"But…" She hesitated. "but what if I had?" Jaina frowned. Resting her head in her left hand, while her fingers of her right traced the hard edges of the stone. "Would you have gone that far? Would I have been able to stop you from killing your friends, your family…. From wielding Frostmourne and taking that stupid throne?"

Jaina shivered as the wind picked up and the temperature of the marsh dropped. She frowned and wrapped her cloak closely around herself, debating whether or not she should start heading back. Dawn was due in couple hours and surely by then someone would notice her gone. Before she could decide what she wanted to do, Jaina heard a movement coming from the forest behind her. On instinct, Jaina hopped off the rock, clutched her staff in her right hand and mumbled a few words before she disappeared, blending into the still background.

"Despite your efforts at concealing yourself, I still know you're there." A cold, deep, masculine voice spoke from the place where she heard movements seconds before. Who ever spoke, spoke with confidence. His words did not falter; did not stumble nor stutter.

Jaina held her breath, her eyes froze wide with fear and she would have sworn that her heart stopped beating, if it were not for the fact that she could hear it beating rapidly. She knew that voice. She knew it well, for it was the same voice that haunted her dreams every night for those last three weeks. Cautiously, Jaina took a few steps back, reaching the edge of the water as she slipped back into visibility, still clutching her staff with her life. She kept head bowed down, the cloak covering her face. "Arthas…" She whispered, barely audible.

Jaina didn't want to look up. Her dreams must have been so vivid and repetitive that now she was hallucinating. "You're not real." She said quietly, her knuckles turned white from gripping her staff too tightly. "You can't be."

"I'm very much real, Jaina." Arthas took a few wide strides and was no more than a metre in front of her. His presence gave her shivers, it was like death itself was standing it front of her. She lifted her head slightly, moving from her view of the grass beneath her so that now she was staring at his boots. They looked like they were made out of steel that had darkened into a shadowy, charcoal colour.

As Jaina's head began to rise, she noticed the rest of his armour. Around his shin the armour was covered in dirty, thick, matted fur. At his knees were skulls shaped out of the steel with a sharp, curved spike that stood out. He had a softer fabric along his arm until his elbow, where more steel traveled down to his wrist. There was, again, the skull surrounded by several spikes. In his gloved hand, he held a helmet that looked like it surrounded his head and only left holes for his eyes and his mouth.

At his waist, was a steel belt that covered his stomach, stamped with the skull in the middle. Attached to his waist was that infamous blade that lead Arthas further down his journey to the dark side; Frostmourne. Jaina's eyes lingered on the blade before continuing up.

Arthas had the same charcoal steel breast plate that connected to his shoulder plates. Connected to his shoulder plates was a long cape, which appeared to be woollen, that trained behind him. His appearance was so different than what the Arthas she once knew wore. For the short time they met again to try to conquer the plague that fell upon Lordaeron, Arthas' armour was bright and bold. It was coloured in a light grey and sea blue and was trimmed with a thick, bright gold.

Jaina subconsciously held her breath, not daring to gaze past his neck, for fear of what she would find. She closed her eyes, remembering the proud, arrogant, young paladin she missed dearly. The seconds passed by in what felt like hours to the mage. As terrifying as it was to see the man that every living being in Azeroth feared, at the same time, this was the man that she fell in love with; the man who she used to call her best friend. Or was it?

Jaina gasped and almost jumped back into the water when she felt two fingers of a gloved hand trace along the fabric of her cloak near her shoulder. Startled Jaina's eyes shot up to meet his, letting her hood fall along the back of her neck. Her light blue eyes gazed into the cold, icy depths of his. He had the same beautifully chiselled facial features and strong bone structure as the Arthas of the past, but as much as she hated to admit it, he was nothing like the man she remembered. His skin was not the soft, warm, peach colour she remembered. It was rough, cold and sickeningly grey. And it was no longer his beautiful golden, blonde hair that gracefully fell around his shoulders, but white, course locks that evidently suffered from the cold, harsh weathers of Northrend.

"You've changed, Jaina." He stated coldly, gazing upon her attire that she acquired after coming to Theramore. "Allying with the orcs," he sneered. "and ruling Theramore? Quite a change from the woman who despised those beasts and the idea of having to be Queen - _my_ Queen."

Jaina stood there wide-eyed and appalled at what the man before her was saying. She blinked a few times before trying to regain her composure. Arthas or not, who did he think he was to try to question her life now? With that her shock turned into anger. "Did you come here to criticize me? If I had a choice I would rather not chose to be a ruler, but this is where I am. I have worked hard to make my people happy and to make the alliance with the orcs work." Jaina hissed at him. "And who are _you_ to speak. You were so determined to _protect_ your people from the plague that you let it get to your head. Then it became that the only way of helping them was to slaughter them while they were still _human_. And now look at you," she motioned angrily at him. "you gave up your life, your _soul_ , to become the very thing that you tried so hard to protect your people _from_!" She clutched her staff tightly, turning her head away from Arthas. She had never really realized the irony of the situation before.

Arthas stood there emotionless; he couldn't care less about what she had just said. "You speak as if you know what you're talking about." He said calmly. "You ran away, don't you remember? You turned your back on me." She turned her head and met his eyes once again. "Taking over the throne as the Lich King was inevitable. Even if you had been there," his gloved finger grazed lightly over Jaina's cheek, his expression never faltered. "there would have been nothing you could have done to stop me."

Jaina froze under the touch of his hand and she could feel herself trying not to tremble. "H-how long," she stumbled with her words. "how long were you standing there? How did you know about everything?"

The right corner of Arthas' lip twitched before turning into a smirk. "I'm more than aware of what's going on around me." His finger fell below her chin, lifting her face up as he moved his face closer to hers. Jaina closed her eyes and shivered as his cheek brushed against hers and his cold lips hovered by her ear. "You know what they say, Jaina." He whispered compellingly. "Keep your friends close and your enemies _closer_."

Frightened, Jaina's eyes shot open, placing her hands against the breast plate of his armour pushing herself away from him. Bewildered by what was going on, Jaina had been oblivious about where she was standing and landed in the cold, shallow pool of water behind her. Her drenched clothes clung to her figure, while the strands of her wet hair stuck to her face. She could hear the deep, malicious laughter coming from Arthas; he did not even flinched at her actions.

"Not very poise now, are we?" He chuckled. "I guess there are some things that haven't changed about you." Arthas lifted his hands and placed the helmet he was holding on to his head. Jaina couldn't tear her eyes away from him as his eyes began to glow blue.

"I guess one thing is clear now," she breathed quietly. "you are not Arthas."

"Well aren't you the clever one." He said. "Let me clarify this for you, Ms. Proudmoore." He pulled back the left side of his cape, clasped the handle of Frostmourne with his hand and slowly pulled it out from it's sheath. The sharp, piercing sound of the metal sliding against each other made Jaina wince. She closed her eyes, bracing herself against what, she assumed, was to come. The thud of the blade digging into the ground made her open her eyes. She looked puzzled as she watched the man bend down on one knee along the edge of the water, his left hand resting against his sword as his support and his right hand rested against his knee. "I am no longer the precious Arthas that you once loved. He was determined and thick headed. His thirst for power made influencing him in the right direction easy. In the end, he _willingly_ let his soul merge with mine." The Lich King roared with laughter. "There is no redemption for that boy; there is no going back. When this body dies, I will find another eager, arrogant young fool to replace him." He stood up, withdrawing his sword from the ground and placing it back within its case.

"You can relax," he said, noticing her hand gripping her staff defensively that laid in the water. "I won't kill you here, that would be far too easy." He turned around, letting his back face her. He tilted his head slightly to the side and smirked. "But I'm confident we'll meet again, soon." He began to move back into the lifeless forest.

When the figured vanished into the woods, Jaina hoisted herself out of the water using her staff for support. She rested herself against the rock beside her, still trying to comprehend the events that had just happened. There were two things that she was positive about now. Arthas was really gone, and there was nothing she could do. There was nothing she could_ have_ done.

Jaina looked up towards the sky. The night sky was still lingering, awaiting the sun's arrival. Had she really been that ignorant? That naïve to try to think she would be able to get her love back?

Jaina lifted the hood of her cloak and pulled it over her head, murmured a few words before a white circle surrounded her by her feet and encompassed her making her disappear into the night sky . Seconds later, the white circle shone just outside Theramore where she reappeared out of sight from the guards. Jaina had cast an invisibility spell on herself and slipped by the unknowing guards at the gates, praying that no one here could detect her. She rushed across the bridge to head towards the castle, thanking that her prays were heard. Inside, she could hear the murmurs of people waking up within the walls. Jaina kept her head bowed as she winded her way through the darkened hallways until she finally reached her room. Inside Jaina closed the door behind her panting, and leaned her back against the wood. She slid down the door until she sat against the cold stone floors, resting the back of her head against the door. Tears fell swiftly down her cheeks, unable to hold them back anymore as she replayed the events over and over in her head.

Through her tears, Jaina glanced out the window across the small room to see the dark night sky fading as the horizon below glowed in an orange hue. Everyone around her would be waking up to a new day; a fresh start filled with the same chores and routines. Nobody would know of the encounter she had today, or how her heart had been broken. Nobody would know that her hopes to, one day, have a second chance with the man she once gave her heart to, had died.

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Author's Note: I hope you guys enjoyed the story, if you did please do feel free to review! If you didn't, constructive criticism is always welcome to help me become a better writer.

This was my first fan fiction piece in roughly 7 years. It was also my first Jaina/Arthas one-shot piece. I tried my best to stay along the lore and the scenery, but some things I just had to work with.

One thing I am grateful for, is writing this helped me coped with the reality that Arthas is really no longer Arthas, as sad as it is. Though I will always be a true Jaina/Arthas fan. *cheers*


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